all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
