there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
