to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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