It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
