She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
