do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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