My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
