My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
