shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
