hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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