Just cropdusted the office
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
