dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
