I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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