Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
