Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
