how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
