This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
