You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
