i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
