After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
