Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
