He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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