Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
