I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
