Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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