im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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