I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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