I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
