Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
