It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
