high people should be assigned attendants
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
