he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
