Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
