Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
