I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
