My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
