yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
