I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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