i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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