I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
