smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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