Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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