So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
