she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we're making bets on your personal life
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
