i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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