whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
