The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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