This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
