Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
