he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
