He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
