just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
