i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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