oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
